oh wow...

... I almost forgot I had this blog, since I've been posting to my other one a lot more often (no, I won't link it... figure it out yourself).

Today I'm busy being a jackass, because I woke up and decided that being nice is super boring. Guess what? Being an asshole is really, really fun!

Today I:

1) Didn't hold the door for anybody (nobody holds it for me ever, so it's only fair!)

2) Splashed some guy in the mall parking lot at lunch time with my car, and he flipped me the bird (well, here's the thing, he was walking IN THE MIDDLE of the road, so it was completely his fault)

3) Show parked my car in the staff parking lot. Hey, it's not my fault I work with dickheads who still haven't been able to figure out that one parking stall doesn't, in fact, equal four sets of yellow lines. An eye for an eye; who cares if the whole world goes blind? We probably deserve it.

!!

Dear everybody who thinks they know more than I do,

A cold sore really is FACE HERPES.

Thanks for your time.

xo

things that pissed me off in the past week.

1) Somebody's comment of "My hairdresser said that bangs are for girls 12 and under, when I asked her if I should get them". For the record, not my friend, but some random co-worker of a friend.

Okay. What? Just what kind of hairdresser do you go to, your mom's?? Because do you know how many grown women have bangs cut into their hair and it looks great? Ahem... I am one of them. Maybe you should just get your head shaved if you're so fucking avant-garde.

2) SUVs. And also their drivers. Yes, even if you drive an SUV it will occasionally get stuck in the snow. Yes, I am laughing at you as I drive past you in the ditch, while driving my little econo car with no snow tires. Yes, driving an SUV kinda makes you a douchebag.

3) Deaf people in the service industry. Just so you know, I don't mean like ACTUAL deaf people, but people who never hear your order right the first time and end up bringing you stuff you did NOT order. Are you kidding me? Your entire job revolves around you listening to people, so do that.

4) Um... I think that's it.

let's call it a day.

I wish I was one of those girls who could look great in any pair of jeans. Seriously, though, it's like I was destined to have the kind of ass where I need to spend over $100 on jeans every time to look good. Fuck. Anyway, I bought a $130 pair of jeans today, and they look fabulous. Seems like a lot of money until you realize that I bought them brand new in a second hand shop, and these are pants that sell on the website for $320 normally. I totally ripped off the company. I'll let you figure out what jeans I'm talking about, because I don't feel like linking to it.

My boyfriend was making fun of me for buying season 1 of MacGyver. He said, 'Oh, so honey what are you going to do tonight, watch Richard Dean Anderson stop a train with chewing gum?'. Um... hi, there is no such episode, babe. At least my geeky TV obsession isn't Dukes of Hazzard! Burn.

Oh, and last night we watched the dumbest movie ever, 'Quarantine'. We ended up fast forwarding through a lot of it because TOO MUCH TALKING. I don't like scary movies where the characters won't shut up, since that kind of takes away the part about it being scary.

Bah. I actually gonna watch MacGyver now because there isn't anything good on the boob tube. But before that I'll leave you with this thing that my friend posted on Twitter. Yep, I'm on Twitter. I STILL don't really get it... but my pals seem to like it, so there I am. Click on the link.

CLICKKKK

K, bye.

swiss cheese smells like feet. not my feet, though.

So yeah, me and BF went out for a super expensive meal on Saturday (he was sick, and couldn't really taste anything... but LAST year we were both sick and broke and had to CANCEL the same reservations, so he was all 'no way we are canceling two years in a row'. Masochism at its best). It was good, though. Don't ever let anyone tell you that atmosphere doesn't help. There's something nice about eating in a restaurant where you don't have to sit near loud drunks, or screaming kids. Who cares if a meal for two costs as much as your monthly car payment? Sometimes shit like that is totally worth it.

Oh, and I found this:

This Is Why You're Fat

Total barftown. But... I have eaten some of that stuff before. Not surprisingly.

one of the times i bitch about the 'having kids' phenomenon that is sweeping the nation.

People who say "I want to have kids because my mom has always wanted grandchildren" are fucked. Seriously fucked. No offense to my mom, because I love my mom, but why the hell am I going to grow a baby in my stomach for 9 months just because SHE likes babies and misses having them around? I mean, yeah, I sometimes feel really bad for my mom because she isn't going to have grandkids unless my dear brother knocks up some chick... but not bad enough to start breeding. I made a conscious decision to not have kids at the age of 25, and the only way I will ever have them is if it's purely by accident (which, by the way, will not happen because I am VERY careful). I have this really bad feeling that a lot of the girls I know who are currently expecting or who want little clones of themselves only feel the need to reproduce because they are told that's what they're supposed to do. REALLY? You guys still do stuff because you're afraid of doing something that goes against the grain and could possibly be socially questionable? Let me just say right now... that is a load of crap. Don't even get me started on people like that octuplet woman.

i don't blog for a million years, now i can't shut up.

Sometimes I just start to miss random things. Like when I hear a certain song, or drive by a certain street, or even eat certain foods. It isn't like I'm not going to have good memories of now... it's just that when you're younger everything seems so epic and awesome that you kind of wish, later on, that you could rewind and replay.

Or maybe that's just me being overly sentimental and retarded. But seriously, a lot of really funny shit happened to me in my 20s. Maybe I should write a book about it. Or someone could make a movie. That's probably more appropriate because I have a super short attention span.

Whatever. I'm going to go listen to some Rush now.